Aikido student: Um, Sensei, I think there's spit on the mat…
Sensei: There's sweat on the mat?
Aikido Student: No, spit.
Sensei: Oh, spit! That's gross!

Humboldt State University
Arcata, California

Overheard by: Eli

Teen girl: Am I fat?
Teen boy: Emotionally? Yes.

La Jolla, California

Overheard by: Acire

College dude: I'd totally fuck her bottom half… and I'd just chomp off her top half.

San Jose, California

Overheard by: Skye

Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.

Department Store
Davis, California

Overheard by: Arlene

Drummer: Well, that wasn't my first time being on fire but it was my favorite time being on fire.

Los Angeles, California

Student, spreading arms wide: I hate you this much!
Teacher: Well, that’s certainly less than earlier.

High school
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: The Know It All

Freshman girl on phone: You're not gonna get HIV from kissing some random… (pause) What? (pause) Well, does he have sores on his lips?

UCSB Dorms

Overheard by: KLaugh

Student, as professor walks into classroom: Tomorrow's Earth Day!
Professor: Yesterday was 4/20!

Classroom, College of Marin
Marin County, California

Government teacher: The finance committee is sexy. Who wants to be part of the education committee, anyway? They're lame.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Teen girl #1: How was econ today?
Teen girl #2, indignantly: We actually learned something, I was so bummed…

Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California

Overheard by: zen