Woman in line at bank: I got a twin.
Friend: I think everybody do.
–HSBC, Boreum Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tony Cimino, DMA
Bus driver, to guy entering bus: Sorry, ladies only.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Jobee
Tranny: Girl, you gotta keep that penis.
Chick on cell: I like the idea of having a penis.
Overheard by: hott bi luvr
Woman: Unless they’re gay, in which case you should just pretend I said men instead of girls. But it’s all still true.
–47th & 8th
Man on cell: Everyone is asking me if I’m a lesbian this week. What is that about?
–Christopher & Bedford
Overheard by: staso
Woman to co‐worker: So he has all girls as daughters.
–225 Broadway, 4th floor
Overheard by: Jennifer
Queer: God, I either need to fuck a boy or a trannie tonight!
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: liza
Queer #1: Oh, jeez, I hooked up with that guy. Don’t look.
Queer #2: Who, the guy who just walked on? Call him over. What’s his name?
Queer #1: What am I, psychic?
–N train, Ditmars Blvd
Overheard by: ant
Black guy on street with CDs: Here, have a copy of my CD.
Unsuspecting tourists: No, thanks.
Black guy on street with CDs: What, you don’t like niggas?
Hipster: C’mon, there’s another train, quit holding the doors. God.
Man squeezing past doors: Oh, shut the fuck up. I’m late for work. What are you late for? The vintage stores aren’t even open yet.
–Uptown N train, Union Square
Businessman: She said there’s an area in Brooklyn where all they speak is Russian. You can go blocks without hearing English. They refuse to speak it.
Girl #1: I think they should make a sequel to Death of a Salesman.
Girl #2: Are you retarded?
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: Caitlyn Howell
Four‐year‐old #1 holding out a gummy snack: Is this a Pygmy Marmoset?
Four‐year‐old #2: That’s a elephant!
Four‐year‐old #2’s mom: It’s an elephant.
Four‐year‐old #1: Ugh. I wanted a Pygmy Marmoset.
–Metro‐North to Grand Central
Chick #1: The girl puts on 10 pounds and nobody wants her.
Chick #2: But she did cocaine.
Chick #1: Big deal! Everyone does cocaine!
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
Girl #1: My apartment smells like balls.
Girl #2: That’s nothing. I think my neighbor is sniffing my panties in the laundry room.
–28th & Park
Overheard by: Stephanie