Dude #1: So he says, ‘If you can walk a straight line, you can come into my bar.’
Dude #2: And then he got raped!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: ummmm
Biology professor: No, penises don’t just fall off. Guys, you have nothing to worry about.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Chicken
Waitress indicating empty seat: Would she like some dessert when she gets back?
Recently abandoned old man: No. She wasn’t feeling good so she went to the Hallmark Store.
Atlas Diner, Strawbridge
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Employee #1: Do you know what the problem is with rice cakes?
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: There’s no meat in them.
Super Target
Virginia
Overheard by: Brian
Girl in stall: Oooh, what is that little feeling in my tummy?
Bathroom, Bubba Gump, Universal CityWalk
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Kerberos
Chick: Oklahoma and Ohio — I always get those two mixed up.
Dude: Yeah.
Chick: Wait, which one is in the middle of the country?
Dude: Uh, they both are, kind of.
Chick: Oh, well, which one is a state?
Dude: Both.
Chick: Yeah, that’s why I get them mixed up!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part-2.html
Overheard by: taranto
- Posted on November 27, 2023
- Bimbettes, Overheard at Cornell, Stupidity
60-ish woman looking in door: I thought you had to have some hooters to be able to work at one.
Hooters
Burbank, California
- Posted on November 26, 2023
- California, Old folks, Rack
Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.
UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California
- Posted on November 25, 2023
- California, Gossip, Latinas, Parenting
Drunk guy #1 to guy he just met: I just get sick of people when they come over. My dad, my brother — after an hour, I’m sick of them.
Drunk guy #2: Oh, yeah?
Drunk guy #1: Yeah. And another thing I hate? Let’s say you come over tonight and spend the night — you can’t sleep on the couch.
Drunk guy #2: Why not? Where would I sleep?
Drunk guy #1: Because there are no sheets on it! I don’t want your body fluids on my couch. But you could sleep in the bed.
Panini’s
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Is that an offer?
Very serious little boy to distracted mother: Do you know why I want a solar-powered light saber? Because it’s dangerous!
Southwest YMCA, Quito Avenue
Saratoga, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl
- Posted on November 21, 2023
- California, Should have used a condom, Violence
