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Woman in line at bank: I got a twin.
Friend: I think everybody do.

–HSBC, Boreum Hill, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Tony Cimino, DMA

Bus driver, to guy entering bus: Sorry, ladies only.

–45th & 5th

Overheard by: Jobee

Tranny: Girl, you gotta keep that penis.

–Midtown

Chick on cell: I like the idea of having a penis.

–Harlem

Overheard by: hott bi luvr

Woman: Unless they’re gay, in which case you should just pretend I said men instead of girls. But it’s all still true.

–47th & 8th

Man on cell: Everyone is asking me if I’m a lesbian this week. What is that about?

–Christopher & Bedford

Overheard by: staso 

Woman to co‐worker: So he has all girls as daughters.

–225 Broadway, 4th floor

Overheard by: Jennifer 

Queer: God, I either need to fuck a boy or a trannie tonight!

–13th & Broadway

Overheard by: liza 

Queer #1: Oh, jeez, I hooked up with that guy. Don’t look.
Queer #2: Who, the guy who just walked on? Call him over. What’s his name?
Queer #1: What am I, psychic?

–N train, Ditmars Blvd

Overheard by: ant

Black guy on street with CDs: Here, have a copy of my CD.
Unsuspecting tourists: No, thanks.
Black guy on street with CDs: What, you don’t like niggas?

–Times Square

Hipster: C’mon, there’s another train, quit holding the doors. God.
Man squeezing past doors: Oh, shut the fuck up. I’m late for work. What are you late for? The vintage stores aren’t even open yet.

–Uptown N train, Union Square

Businessman: She said there’s an area in Brooklyn where all they speak is Russian. You can go blocks without hearing English. They refuse to speak it.

–Midtown office

Girl #1: I think they should make a sequel to Death of a Salesman.
Girl #2: Are you retarded?

–21st & 3rd 

Overheard by: Caitlyn Howell

Four‐year‐old #1 holding out a gummy snack: Is this a Pygmy Marmoset?
Four‐year‐old #2: That’s a elephant!
Four‐year‐old #2’s mom: It’s an elephant.
Four‐year‐old #1: Ugh. I wanted a Pygmy Marmoset.

–Metro‐North to Grand Central

Chick #1: The girl puts on 10 pounds and nobody wants her.
Chick #2: But she did cocaine.
Chick #1: Big deal! Everyone does cocaine!

–Conde Nast Building, Times Square

Girl #1: My apartment smells like balls.
Girl #2: That’s nothing. I think my neighbor is sniffing my panties in the laundry room. 

–28th & Park

Overheard by: Stephanie