Fat black woman: Hey, watch where you’re going! Say “excuse me” instead of bumping into me like that. Don’t you know how to speak English?
Japanese girl: You need a diet!
–Penn station
Overheard by: JL
- Posted on
- Black People, Etiquette, Japanese, Language Barrier, Penn Station
Customer: I see barley, but no beef.
Cafeteria worker: The beef has been melted into it.
–MSKCC cafeteria
Dude #1: I never knew people actually lived on Staten Island.
Dude #2: I know!
Dude #1: I thought it was just a big mall.
Dude #2: With the Mafia…
Dude #1: And garbage…
Dude #2: I know!
Dude #1: You know what’s totally sad? I got a 1450 on my SATs.
–A train
- Posted on
- Education, Guys, Idiots, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Stupidity
Martha Stewart is on a tabloid cover.
Hipster: Did you know she’s now on that Forbes list?
Sunglasses at night girl: The one with rich people?
Hipster: Yes.
Sunglasses at night girl: She’s not even a movie star.
–Key Foods, Williamsburg
- Posted on
- A-List, About Celebrities, Brooklyn, Celebrities, Girls, Hipsters, Money & Class, Movies, People, Places, Pop Culture, Rich people, Topics, Williamsburg
White guy: I’m a pretty liberal-minded guy. I don’t consider myself prejudiced or anything…
White girl: But..?
White guy: But I really don’t like Polish people. I mean, I can’t help it, I just don’t.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kristen
Queer: My sister is so concerned about her son playing with dolls because it will turn him gay. I’m like, “It’s not because I was playing with dolls that I was gay, it was that I looked at a guy and got a hardon!”.
–Japonica, University Place
Overheard by: Rick T
- Posted on
- Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Horny, One-liners, Penis, Queer guys, The Village
Old woman: Did you see this play?
Old man: Yes.
Old woman: Well, do you know who the father of the baby is?
Old man: Well, I know it wasn’t me.
–59th & Park
- Posted on
- Babies, Dads, Kids, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Men, Old People, Parents, People, Places, Theater & Dance, Topics, Women
Ho: …no, really. Like, I have really been trying to win his trust back. I’ve been doing everything! I even deleted all my ex-boyfriends’ screen names from all my IM accounts, right in front of him! I don’t know what else I could do to make him trust me again…
–Lehman College
Overheard by: Soro
- Posted on
- Computer, Etiquette, Relationships, Straight Trippin', Stupidity, White Trash
Fat black chick: I can’t come when I’m having regular sex.
Skinny black chick: Why not?
Fat black chick: I don’t know. It just doesn’t happen.
Skinny black chick: Maybe the guy sucks.
Fat black chick: And I have a sensitive clit, too.
Skinny black chick: He definitely ain’t hittin it right. Maybe you should get rid of that punk ass bitch.
–46th St. & 8th Ave.
- Posted on
- Advice, Black People, Fat People, Orgasm, Sex, Skinny People, Vagina
Black guy: They’re taking over! Where the shit am I supposed to eat?
–Rivington Street
Customer: I’ll have a slice of the eggplant.
Pizza guy: You know that’s organic right?
Customer: That’s fine. How long have you guys been organic?
Pizza guy: Oh, about 2 weeks now. The white girls are loving it.
–Delancey & Essex pizzeria
Overheard by: Brian
Dad (to son, 6): Do you want to go to Cafe Pertutti or Oren’s Daily Roast?
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: RPK
