Guy: Hey! I haven’t seen you in, like, forever.
Girl: No kidding! How are you?
Guy: I’m good… Except, remember when I fell into that brick wall? I’m worried the cut’s infected.
Girl: Well, I have some Bactroban in my purse…
Guy: Awesome! Have I mentioned how much I love you?
Girl: And it’s prescription strength.
Guy: I’d get down on one knee and propose to you now, but I’m pretty sure I’m standing in pigeon shit.
–NYU
Stoner: What do you have ready?
Cashier: Chicken.
Stoner: What kind of chicken?
Cashier: It’s called fried chicken.
–Palace Fried Chicken
Overheard by: Brian
- Posted on June 1, 2023
- Clerks, Food, Restaurants & Cafes, Stoners
Lady: I’m lactose intolerant!
Waitress: Then why are you putting butter on your bread?
Lady: I didn’t know butter was dairy! I thought it came from eggs!
–Veselka, E 9th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Katznik
- Posted on June 1, 2023
- Default, Food, Health and Hygiene, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Waitresses, Weirdness, Women
Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain’t gonna be gay!
–14th St & Ave B
- Posted on May 31, 2023
- Alphabet City, Crazies, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Laughter, Moms, Parents, Weirdness
Cute girl about upcoming CAT scan: There’s a part of me that’s actually a little excited… or at least interested, because, you know, it’s a new experience.
Friend: It will be an adventure. A medical adventure. Like House!
Girl: Except the doctor won’t be nearly as sexy as Hugh Laurie.
Friend: But he’ll have a better bedside manner.
Girl: It’d be worth the bedside manner if he were that sexy.
Friend: We’ve gotta stop watching that show. It gives us unrealistic expectations.
Girl: My mind right now is like 45% fear, 25% excitement, 15% rational thought, you know, that it’s probably not cancer, and the rest is Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard battling for my affections.
Friend: We’ve gotta stop watching that show.
–L Train
Overheard by: Jonah
- Posted on May 31, 2023
- About Celebrities, Advice, Beauty, Cancer, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Fears, Friends, Girls, Medicine, On the Subway, TV
Black boy #1: Yo, how come there’s only white people in these paintings?
Black boy #2: Mmm… Guess they were painted in 1750‐something. They didn’t have no brothers back then.
–The Met
- Posted on May 30, 2023
- Arts & Letters, Black People, History & Geography, The Met
Person #1: Sorry I farted.
Person #2: Oh, I love your farts.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
- Posted on May 30, 2023
- Apologies, Creepsters, Farting & Burping, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness
Black woman, to white kid flanked by two pretty girls: Hey, mista’! Ya got some change?
Same black woman, to the two girls: Don’t go givin’ away pussy fo’ free!
–DeKalb Station
Overheard by: BagelOfTheDamned
- Posted on May 29, 2023
- Advice, Black People, Brooklyn, Hobos
Law student #1: Which one’s professor Donovan*?
Law student #2: You know — she’s teaching that course on litigation and pirates…
Law student #1: Oh, right.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Bad Minkey
- Posted on May 29, 2023
- Columbia (& Barnard), Education, Students
Man: Is Tom Hanks married to Rita Wilson?
Two women: Yeah.
Man: Is that why they called the Volleyball “Wilson” in Cast Away?
–97th & 5th
Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski
- Posted on May 28, 2023
- About Celebrities, Friends, Movies, Questions, Upper East Side
