Girl #1: Oh my God, don’t we know him?
Girl #2: Duh, that’s Crotchman.
Girl #1: Riiight. From that party.
Girl #2: Yeah.
–Penn Station
- Posted on September 16, 2023
- Celebrations/Parties, Girls, Penn Station
Queer #1: …so essentially if I didn’t get accepted to NYU for law I would have become a magician.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah. I have the hat and scarves and everything.
–Dojo, Greenwich Village
- Posted on September 16, 2023
- College, Jobs & Careers, NYU, Queer guys, Queers
Guy #1: Oh my god, did you hear that Tom Ford just left Chanel?!
Guy #2: Really?! I can’t believe it, he really turned that brand around.
–Bergdorf Goodman shoe department, 5th Ave.
- Posted on September 15, 2023
- Guys, Rumor Has It, Store
Mom: Why don’t we take the baby to go pumpkin picking this week?
Dad: No.
Mom: Why not?
Dad: Because it’s too dangerous.
–Annadale, Staten Island
Overheard by: flappers
- Posted on September 15, 2023
- Babies, Parents, Staten Island
Chick: One time I saw this old guy fall and drop his cane onto the subway tracks, and it was raining, so we tried to talk people into giving him their umbrella, since he couldn’t get the cane–and we were so mad when no one would give us an umbrella, ’cause you can’t just buy a cane at Duane Reade.
–6 train
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
- Posted on September 14, 2023
- Age/Aging, Girls, Offers and requests, On the Subway
Tourist: Excuse me, but do you know how I can get to Penn station?
Woman in camo: Do I look like a fucking tour guide?
Tourist: Now that’s what I came to New York to find!
–5th & 82nd
- Posted on September 14, 2023
- Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, NYC Geography, Tourism, Tourists, Upper East Side
Chick on cell: You know Karen, she’s my best friend…well, not my best friend, my Taiwanese best friend…
–Lorimer Street, Williamsburg
- Posted on September 13, 2023
- Friendship, On Cell, Williamsburg
Intellectual: Man, I was reading the Koran the other day. It’s such bullshit; the Bible is way better.
–7B, East Village
- Posted on September 13, 2023
- Christianity, Idiots, Islam, Union Square and East Village
Mom: You know something? When I was a little girl, my family was so poor that we couldn’t even afford Christmas presents! We got fruit in our stocking and that was it, and we were lucky if we could get one birthday present–
Son, 6: But we have money!
–10th Street & 6th Avenue
- Posted on September 12, 2023
- Gifts, Kids, Moms, Money & Class
Salesgirl: How’d you get that bruise?
Customer: I was jumproping and I fell.
Salesgirl: Aren’t you a little old to be jumproping?
Customer: Aren’t you a little fat to be working at The Gap?
–The Gap, 48th & 6th
- Posted on September 12, 2023
- Customers, Insults, Rockefeller Center, Store
