Designer Wednesday One‐Liners

Yuppie mom to daughter trying to pet duck: Melissa! The ducks don’t want you touching their heads. Actually, as a rule of thumb, don’t touch bird’s heads, any heads… I don’t want to get a complaint that you’ve been patting someone’s head!

–Pond, Prospect Park

Yuppie clad in yoga outfit: Yeah, but here’s the thing: I actually think coconut water tastes like shit.

–25th & Lexington

Overheard by: (me too, but I’ve never admitted it)

Yuppie girl: And I said to her, ‘I’m not racist. My best friend is black.’

–110th & Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: ROTIROLL

Yuppie guy: So I went back, but all there was was a door labeled “wc,” and I assumed that meant women and children…

–Carmine St

Overheard by: Rose Fox