Go the Fuck to Sleep, Wednesday One‐Liners!

Assertive six‐year‐old boy to his mother: You need to tell on people because people need to be punished.

–6th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: Don Willmott

Toddler in stroller, exiting train station: I want to go to Columbia university!

–96th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Josh

Little boy to father: Because after you seduce somebody, the person you seduced…

–30th Ave & 42nd St

Overheard by: Jeff Stephens

Little girl to mother: Are we going to get chocolate chip animal cookies? I need them, I’m so dehydrated!

–2 Train