I Love My Wednesday, but Oh You One-Liner!

Young black guy on cell: Okay, okay, okay… What if I told you I have another girlfriend… On the side?

–New Museum

Angry girl on cell: And my other boyfriend is cheating on me with his wife again!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Joseph O'Connell

Angry woman trying to yell at her husband and not be overheard: You stretched her ass and licked it… Just like you did to me!

–Washington Square Park

Loud guy on phone: I have a very serious question, and I expect a very serious answer. Did you fuck my girlfriend last night?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Mimi

50-something guy to another: That's why I never cheat on my wife, because I know I'd get caught. I just wish she wasn't getting so fat.

–Outside Essex House

Overheard by: NewNewYorker