If It Makes You Happy, Wednesday One‐Liner Can’t Be That Bad.

Perturbed man, angered by phone conversation: Look, I’d just be a lot happier if you’d tell me that next spring, we can go ballooning!


Teacher, pointing to stick figure on blackboard: This guy over here, is he happy or sad? He’s nonexistent, ’cause he’s gonna get ripped in half.

–Pratt Institute

20‐something guy: If my dick were so big that I couldn’t walk, I would be happy.

–Spuyten Duyvil

Bald stocky dude with solid grey helmet head tattoo and massive facial piercings on cell: You know you just have to do what you can to be happy, but I am not going to keep having near‐death experiences just to knock my rocks off.

–20th & 7th