Mama Told Me Not to Come to This Wednesday One-Liner

Man on cell: So… I left my backpack at the private secret robot party last night… Can you pick it up for me?

–Bowery & Spring

Overheard by: Annie

MILF wannabe on cell: On the Hamptons–it has the sexiest parties I've ever been to in the United States: men come up to you! And dance… with you!

–Gansevort Rooftop

Guy on cell: So you know how I wasn't going to the Christmas party? So somebody drags me anyway, and I walk in, and those three girls–all the ones I did it with? Are together at the same table. And I'm like, "shit, man!" So I left.

–Astor Place

30-something girl: Me and my girlfriend went to the bar for an anti-valentines day party last night. You bring a picture of your ex, they rip it up, and give you a free drink!

–7th Ave & 39th

Overheard by: Carolyn