Once Upon a Time in Wednesday One‐Liner…

Bag lady: The Republicans are trying to regain power by removing all the African Americans and replacing them with Latinos.

–Jamaica LIRR Station

Woman to boyfriend: You know, I’m really glad I met you instead of a Mexican.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: true romantic

Asian girl on phone with her mother: He’s not a regular Hispanic, you know, he speaks English, recycles, and likes museums.

–Washington Square Park

Lady at shop: Are you Mexican? My ex was Mexican. He was shorter than me, but I loved him. Until he stabbed someone. (pause) Sweetheart, I need a lot of napkins – I don’t have my top teeth.

–President & Smith