The International Wednesday One‐Liner Fund

Man on phone: Fuck personal, this is business. You owe me six grand. I don’t care how you get it, but you owe me, so you better start sucking some dick, you better start sniping people, I don’t care! I want my money!

–181st St & Ft Washington Ave

30‐something woman with thick Russian accent to 20‐something guy: Two weeks later you get all money back, plus fifty percent.

–Bench, Union Square Park

Overheard by: Farley

Man on phone: It’s amazing! A year ago, I didn’t know the difference between an asset and an equity!

–4th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Sagehen

Ghetto teenager, holding five dollar bill, to friend: Come on, lend me a dollar, I don’t want to break a big bill!

–Deli, Coney Island

Guy on cell: What do you mean you want all my money?

–Westside Market, 103rd & Broadway

Overheard by: boBob