Translation: Forget You and Your Drunk Ass

20-something girl: I had to ask the question, 'could I be with someone who has two dirty martinis and three glasses of wine on a Tuesday evening?' (long pause).
Friend: I think I need to go out with someone older.
20-something girl: Well, they've got to be out there… I wonder if they're any books on this – I mean, you could go online…
Friend: I should put you in contact with my friend, he's a sweetie. He'd be a great mentor… I mean, he cries a lot, but he's a sweetie.

–Park Bench, W12th & 8th

Overheard by: Corey Birtles