Wednesday One-Liners Worship Q from Star Trek

Crazy 40-something subway preacher: Okay, listen up, girls. I am an earth angel and I am here to find all the other earth angels on this train so they can come and live with me in heaven. Now, the only people besides me who can be earth angels are beautiful women under the age of 24. I will sing a song to bring the holy spirit into all you angels. (breaks into song) Ohhhh, holy niiiiiight, the staaaars are brightly shiiiiining… (nobody moves) Damn, you girls are some secular angels, aren't you?

–Q Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Subway platform preacher on box: Your soul is infected with death! Bill Gates's soul isn't infected with death. Just Bill Gates's body is infected with death.

–Fulton St. Station

Overheard by: CRL

Born-again Christian, preaching to entire platform: How do we know god exists? Just look at tornadoes. God created tornadoes because they're natural air conditioners.

–Times Square

Rambling ponytailed man: Boom, boom, boom, boom! The holy spirit! It's the bible! We met in the bible. (breaks into song) I can't help myseeelf, I want the holy ghost and no one eeelse! (back to speaking) How can god go all the way out there and create that? The holy spirit is a baby elephant. A baby female elephant!

–Starbucks, 67th & Columbus

Overheard by: muffin urchin