Wednesday’s Clothes Are So Tight You Can See Her One‐Liners

Very posh lady with silly hat to very posh lady with too much makeup: So they made this skirt for me, but they made it fit too perfect. I can’t even walk up stairs. I feel like a geisha!

–Gramarcy Park

40‐something woman to 20‐something woman: Honey, if your body is a 6, but your panties are a size 12, never, ever, under any circumstances, wear a tube dress where the band is just hitting below where those horizontal stripes are, jiggling on that ass. The front looks great.

–Uptown A train

200‐pound black woman to another: The only time I go commando is when it’s 100 degrees out and I’m wearing a skirt. 

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Brian Quinn

Ugly girl: If I wore a bathing suit to every single class I promise you I’d pass.

–Hunter College

Large mami in tight stretchy outfit: When I saw the snow this morning I said “dag! I gotta change.” but Alicia needs to zip me up. I can’t reach the zipper.

–Elevator, Midtown

Overheard by: CH