The Wind in the Wednesday One-Liners

Guy in bar to friend: You know what really sucks about the breakup? It took me two years to be able to fart in front of my girlfriend, and now I have to start all over again, holding them in.

–Bar, Times Square

Really drunk guy to herd of other really drunk guys: I was covered in the snow. Pooping and farting.

–13th & 3rd

Overheard by: Jenna

Suit to another: By the way, her farts are terrible.

–Central Park Boathouse

Crazy man to himself: I farted. It's New Year's Eve and I farted.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Max