Guy to friend: I can't do that–I mean, I need time to sit around and play with myself.
–1 Train
Woman leaving ATM, on cell: …is the difference between that and masturbation.
–7th & Union, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ladle
Man to another: So what you about to get in to? I'm going to the peep show to jerk off. (pause) Awwwright, yo, I'll see you later.
–41st & 8th Ave
Guy, to gal: Look, if a girl masturbates with a plastic mold of my penis, that is [i]not[/i] me cheating on you.
–Elevator, Citigroup Building
Overheard by: Ladle
