Wednesday One-Liners *Hic*

College girl to another: I knew you were drunk because every time you opened a beer can you said a Snapple fact.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nicole

Mom with stroller to another: Am I the only one who thinks being a stay-at-home mom makes you a raging alcoholic? I mean… What else are you supposed to do with your time?


Overheard by: kfowler

White suit to black suit: So we're getting drunk at the wake, or what?

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Ladle

Old polish guy to another: You know what's good for you? If you drink vodka, but you don't drink it straight early in the morning. . .


Girl: I didn't know if we had the vibe, and I was too drunk…

–Broadway & 8th

Overheard by: non-gay NYU guy

Edison contractor to coworker: Johnny with the MTA? That fuck is drunk every night–and he works on the third rail!

–Jones & Bleecker

Overheard by: Sasha