Will These Wednesday One‐Liners Be Graded on a Curve?

20‐something guy to another: Yeah, 9th grade was when I started to get my swagger on…

–31st & 6th Ave

Student: Guess what? I’m not coming to school tomorrow. Or Thursday. Or Friday. Or Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or September. Know why? (pause) Cause muh name’s Mike.

–Curtis High School, Staten Island

Overheard by: jules

Short homey on crutches: Yo, ah don’ know how to read either, but ah got mah college degree!

–Fulton Mall, Brooklyn

Football player on phone: Nah, man, I’m not living in Cali anymore! I’m going to Fordham. It’s in New York City! Yeah, man, I’m going to school with Senators’ daughters and shit!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand

Strangely eloquent little boy to mom: In school my teacher told us to write down five words we know. I said, ‘fuck that!’ and gave her this. (pulls crumpled drawing of stick figure under rainbow out of jacket pocket, and hands it to mother)

–Q Train