Big Momma's Wednesday One-Liner

Man on train: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I am trying to get home to Bakerfield… And I have diarrhea.

–V Train

Overheard by: Avi

Post office clerk: May I have someone step down, please? If anyone wants to go home, come to the front, please?

–Post Office, Coney Island

Guy with scarf to friend: I swear to god, if I come over to your house with a black light and your sheets don't glow in the dark, you're a failure.

–B Train

Overheard by: Mary Kate Wise

Man rapping on the train: 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s… And I'm still in housin!

–4 Train