Dear Diary, Today I Prevented Discovery of the Precious Einstein Sperm… Barely

Thug #1: Yo, I heard some shit about they got sperm samples of scientists from the 1950s stored underneath the ice skating rink.
Thug #2: Oh shit, look at that bitch’s ass over by the flags.
Thug #1: Damn.

–Rockefeller center

Overheard by: Nado