Ewww, Why Is This Sticky?

Bubbly college chick: Oh my god! Have you read David Sedaris?
Mellow college chick: Maybe…
Bubbly college chick: Maybe? How did you not shit yourself laughing? I mean, he’s OCD and licks doorknobs on a regular basis! He’s gay, and he’s great! You should totally buy this!

–Columbia University Bookstore, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: amused employee