Someone Needs to Tell Bruce Willis That’s because He’s Dead

Drunk dude #1: I have a great job.
Drunk dude #2: Yeah, but I get a lot of vacation time.
Drunk dude #1: Oh, yeah? Remember those two days I took off last week? Those were free days because they didn’t even notice I wasn’t there!

–2 train

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer