We Cooked Up These Wednesday One-Liners Just for You.

Law student on cell: Well, mom, how would *you* feel if someone covered *you* in oatmeal and told you to cooperate?

–Columbia Law School

Overheard by: Julia B.

Girl: The California roll looks gangsta.

–Brooklyn

College guy to friends: So, 45 minutes later, and it's still cooking. A girl comes down from upstairs, she's like, "did something die in your apartment?" we're like, "no, it's cooking!"

–Fordham University

Cashier, over loudspeaker: All customers need to come to the front. I'm going to lunch.

–Duane Reade