We Have Ourselves a Match

Teen boy: Do you have any matches?
Counter lady: Can I see ID?
Teen boy: You need ID for matches? For just matches?
Counter lady: I can’t give you matches without ID.
Teen boy: ID for matches…what the fuck is this world coming to?

–Bodega, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Tim Noonan

Cashier chick: “You’ve got cigarettes, but you don’t have matches? That don’t make sense!” We sell lighters, stupidass. Buy one.

–Walgreens, 4th Avenue