Wednesday One-Liners Keep It Rail

Conductor in robotic voice: Once again, humans, this is your digital conductor speaking. Step in and do not block the doorways.

–F Train

Train conductor: The next stop on this train will be the next.

–A Train

Conductor: The next station is Manhasset. Please ignore the computer man.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Ladle

Conductor, after train sputtered: Due to signal problems, we'll be going in a start and stop fashion. (pause) And heeere we go, ready? Ready? Aaand, there we are… (repeats several times) And next week this train will be in Great Adventure, but for now, exchange place!

–PATH Train

Overheard by: Mickey