Why Are You Looking at Me Like That, Dad?

Guy: Are you okay?
Girl, looking sickly: Oh, I’m fine.
Guy: Okay, as long as nothing untoward happens.
Girl: You mean, like, toward your crotch?
Guy: Um, what?
Girl: Don’t worry, I won’t throw up on you or try to give you head.
Guy: Uh, okay…

–F train