From The Sensuous Nazi

Girl #1: What would you do if a guy took you to a hotel for Valentine’s Day?
Girl #2: I guess I’d be like, ‘Oh, how sweet…’ Get into bed… Then shove a glass vase up his ass and run away. Naked. If he moved the glass vase would break and tear up his asshole, and he’d be pooping shards of glass out for a week.

–Park Slope