Guy #1: What time is it?
Guy #2: One o’clock.
Guy #1: What? How long has it been one?
Guy #2: Less than a minute?
–57th & Lexington
Mom: Hey! If you’re hungry I’ll buy you a hot dog. Don’t bite your brother…Hey! What did I just tell you?
She flicks his ear; he yelps.
Mom: Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.
–Stop & Shop, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Chris B
A woman gets on the train and begs for money. She is upset that other people ask for money and spend it on the wrong things. She promises she is being sincere and that she isn’t going to spend it on drugs; she needs it to buy food for her 93 day old baby.
Four days later the same woman gets on the train, telling how she is being honest and needs the money to buy food. Only now she claims her baby is 76 days old.
Funny how she’s begging for money, when she should really just sell that time machine.
–Q train
Overheard by: Jill
Guy: Hey man, wanna make some quick money moving some equipment for me?
Hobo: I don’t have time right now.
–30th & 7th
Overheard by: theallegedother
