Hipster #1: Mom said since he’s had an erection for that long, they need to chop it off.
Hipster #2: That’s stupid. Why do they need to chop off his penis?
Hipster #1: It doesn’t matter — I think iguanas have two.
Hipster #2: Couldn’t they just jerk him off?
–Mandate of Heaven, 347 Grand St
