Girl: So, I saw this woman using her baby as a weapon, and I was like, ‘I don’t think you should be using your baby like a weapon.’
–LIRR
Overheard by: Gaby
Woman on cell with her man: Daaamn! Your baby‐mama be cock‐blockin’.
–F train
Girl: I don’t want AIDS, I just want his baby!
–Queens
Blue collar Yankees fan about father’s car, to friends: I never did nothing to that car… ‘cept I burned a cigarette hole in the seat. I did do that. But nothin’ else. I drove that car like a baby.
–E train
Overheard by: John G
Preggers on cell: I’m in labor right now, but it’s okay because I told the baby that they have to wait a while. I still need to eat, and I want to take my time and enjoy this meal. Any child of mine can come after.
–Ecco, Chambers St
