Drunk white dude: We saw this fuckin’ rat in our pantry, so I whisper over to my roommate, ‘Dude, dude! There’s a fucking rat in the pantry!’ So I, like, grab a butter knife and shit, and like, I stabbed it! I fuckin’ stabbed that fuckin’ rat!
Black chick: Wow! Did you kill it?
Drunk white dude: Nah, it like, bled a lot and shit, so we threw it in the dumpster. I tried to, like, smash its skull, but I couldn’t do it.
Drunk white girl, not part of their conversation: Shut the fuck up!
–8th St station
