Drunk Santa to drunk female Santa: I didn’t know what to do! I don’t know anything about kids!
Overheard by: James
Tipsy LI teen to friend buying LIRR ticket: Is the machine gonna give you a bunch of Sacajaweas? … Dude… Sack-a-ja-wee-wee! She’s gonna be all up in your piece!
Overheard by: pri
Drunk girl sobbing to another: You’re my opposite! You’re my everything!
–Sala One Nine
Overheard by: And I’m in the fifth dimension…
Drunk man: My penis can touch my asshole!
–12th & 3rd
Drunk girl: You know what would be really weird and sort of pointless? A life-size map.
–12th & 2nd
Drunk white guy to passerby: He act like is my fault that I’m drunk.
–39th & 8th
Overheard by: How odd is that