Wednesday One-Liners: a Tradition of Heritage

History buff: So, you’ve heard about the Boston Tea Party, right? So, what happened is this guy, Christopher Columbus, is sailing around looking for the West Indies but instead finds America. He goes back to mother England and tells them all about it, and mother England sends over all the prostitutes and criminals. So England forgets all about America, but when they check back in, all those criminals survived — they prospered — so mother England’s like, ‘You gotta pay taxes now.’ But the criminals say, ‘Hey, we didn’t ask to get sent here anyway. We’re not paying nothing.’ And that’s how it happened, son. You’ll learn about it in high school.

–F train, Brooklyn

Overheard by: baffled colonial historian

Loud hobo: Four score and seven years ago, there were no lesbians in this country.

–V platform, 52nd St

Overheard by: HelloClairice & Lara

History professor, about the textile ban in India: If you remember Gandhi the movie… or not just Gandhi the movie, but I guess Gandhi the man, too…

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Katie

Queer: Yeah, I mean, the French Revolution was really… a great revolution. To have abolished laws against sodomy that early in history says something about the French.

–Sushi Yasuda

Overheard by: Belinos

Highly-qualified History teacher: You mean, slavery ended in the late 19th century? I just told a kid that’s when it started!

–6 train, Harlem