Wednesday One‐Liners Aren’t As Good on a Cracker As You May Have Heard

Dude, about Gillette shaving products: It’s like sperm. [Notices girl staring] … Yeah, it’s like sperm.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: tanechka

Chesty preggers: I thought he was shooting blanks! I mean, he only drank Mountain Dew and wore tighty‐whities!

–Near the Pink Pony, LES

Dude: I don’t have time for your premature ejaculation!


Girlfriend to boyfriend: Dammit, John, sperm does not cure everything! You’re crazy!

–East Williamsburg

Overheard by: azraela