Wednesday-One-Liners Call ‘Fowl’

Guy: He’s really cool as Chickenhawks go.

–E 15th St, near Stuyvesant Park

Preppy girl: Oh my god, this salad is bangin’, but it needs chicken. I need some motherfuckin’ chicken on my motherfuckin’ salad!

–McDonald’s, Broadway

Mother to daughter: Stand over here. Birds be shittin’.

–Near Penn Station

Overheard by: Checking for pigeons

Guy, looking at man walking duck on leash: That’s just like the duck I used to have!

–Central Park

Man, scared by parrot’s loud screech : What the fuck was that? A duck?

–86th St & 2nd Ave

Man: If I was homeless, I would totally get a big trash bag and stuff it with pigeon feathers. It would be like a big down comforter.

–9th St & 1st Ave

Hipster girl: I know. Pigeon shit and Clorox! If I’m not dead next week it will be a miracle!

–St. Marks & 1st Ave

Overheard by: off white