Man in pink shirt: So, I saw this homeless man, and he asked for change. I was like, ‘Man, I’m even more fucked than you are. I spent my last change on a metro card.’ And then the guy is like, ‘Well, at least you have clothes,’ and so I was like, ‘No, I borrowed this from a drama performance.’ And then he said have I eaten? I was like, ‘No, I only ate a sandwich two days ago.’ The homeless guy is like, ‘You’re right — you are worse off than me.’
–N train
Chick: You know that hobo asking for a motorcycle? He now wants dinner in the Hamptons.
–79th & Broadway
Dude: If we see a homeless guy tonight, ask him if he saw last night’s South Park.
–Manhattan‐bound LIRR, Port Washington line
Chick: Let’s become homeless people so we can just stay on this train.
–Metro‐North to Grand Central
Overheard by: jj
Lady on cell: Yeah, I don’t like singles… I don’t like homeless people, either. I’d give my singles to the homeless.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Beez
Queer hipster: Oh my god! Some hobo just asked if I wanted to see his pubic wonderland!
–68th & Lexington
Drunk girl to friend: I mean, he’s not, like, homeless‐homeless… He’s medium homeless!
–Bleecker & Thompson
