Man: Would you rather have a hat made of spiders or penises for fingers?
–93rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Steve
Woman on cell: She told me she felt like a pecan pie covered in roaches. Isn’t that weird? So I told her, ‘Honey, it’s time to call the exterminator.’
–Smith & Warren St, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Hobo: You’re nothing but a flea on a tick’s ass!
–18th & Park
Hippie: So, I’m standing there naked and this roach is sizing up my junk…
–Shuttle
Overheard by: Capitalist Pig
Chick on cell: … Well, if you didn’t throw spiders at him…
–15th & 7th
Cube dweller: I think spiders would like my head — so much empty space to crawl around in.
–Butterick Building, NYU School of Law
Overheard by: missing in action
