Dude: Man, I wish I had a doorknob.
–34th & 8th
Hustler on cell: I just wish you wasn’t being all one‐track‐mind‐your‐own‐business about this.
Hobo: Can anybody help a disabled Navy veteran get something to eat? If you help me buy a sandwich, you’ll get a 2007 Zagat for half price. [A suit gives him money but declines the Zagat.] Okay, but I really wish someone would buy the Zagat.
Overheard by: Fagat
Guy on cell: You just wish you were my baby’s mama!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Hipster: … So he said, ‘I wish Jesus was alive now. I’d invite him to join MySpace.com and I’d force him to be my friend.’
–Q train crossing the East River
Overheard by: Beth Smith