Black lady to coworker: Girl, I got me a real bad paper cut this afternoon. Hurt like a bitch! I swears, a real bad paper cut hurts more than actually being stabbed.
Overheard by: Mooka
Chick on cell: I can’t decide if I want to fuck you or push you into oncoming traffic on the BQE.
–51st & Lex
Young girl to young guy: I don’t know you yet, so you can’t hit.
Overheard by: So happy to have finally overheard something worth submitting!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I got a fuckin’ ass whoopin’ for him on lay away, though.
–36th & 8th
Overheard by: Jenn
Crotchety old man: The best part was when his daughter stabbed him in the neck with scissors.
–Outside AMC, Times Square
Overheard by: Max Wastler