Guy to chick with him: I’d hold your hand, but my heart hates uggoes.
–67th & 1st
Girl watching two hot Mormon guys walk by: I think it evens out. I have actually seen ugly Mormons.
–Flatbush & 5th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: stephanie k
Dude: Yeah, she’s not ugly, but she’s definitely not pretty. But she wants me to set her up with one of my friends. I told her that they’re all either married or ugly, but then I realized I should set her up with one of the uglies because it’ll help her self esteem.
–Rangers Game, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Veronica
Hoochie: I mean, he’s not the ugliest guy I’ve made out with. I made out with a guy who looked like Alf.
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Tater Tot
Old guy: I’m a good judge of character. That’s why I never talk to her. That and because she’s got a face like a foot. I never talk to ugly people.
–Viacom elevator, 1515 Broadway
