It’s Wednesday One-liners, Dumbass

Drunk woman on cell: It’s been Tuesday all day! And tomorrow’s gonna be Tuesday too!

–St. George, Staten Island

Overheard by: johnny

Teen girl: So, if I didn’t pass a drug test, does that mean I, like, failed?


Southern girl: …so I asked her what the “M” on her bag stood for. She was all, “It stands for Margaret, ’cause it’s my name.” And I was all, “Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I keep forgettin’, ’cause we been calling you Maggie.”

–7 train

Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

Asian woman: Excuse me, what time is the 7:17 train?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Adman