Nine‐year‐old boy to friends: Don’t be talking smack about Jesus. He was one of our greatest presidents!
–Q train
Overheard by: J‑Lo
Hip chick in black whose dog poops in street: No! No! Jesus fucking Christ! [Looks up and notices she’s in front of large church.] Oops.
–71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: She didn’t even pick it up
High school boy: He’s like a fat homeless Jesus who stole a rich man’s coat.
–Bronx
Soccer mom to another: You know, Friday nights are always a great time for Jesus.
–82nd and Columbus
Overheard by: Just bought a bottle of Jack to share with Jesus
Student on phone: All I have to say about being friends with Jesus is that unlimited fish sandwiches and wine doesn’t sound like a bad deal.
–NYU
Crazy guy: Praise Jesus! But stay outta my way — I will stab you.
–W 17th St
Overheard by: dawllyllama
Girl to friend: I mean, come on — who really cares about Jesus?
–Elevator, NYU Silver Center
