Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liners in the Corner

Girl: Her baby was premature, and she already has health problems. She only has one liver.

–Puck Fair, Lafayette St

Girl: A human baby takes seven or eight weeks to look adorable. A puppy is cute right away.

–31st Ave & 44th St, Queens

Overheard by: Jake

Guy: Where is that crying baby coming from? It better not be in that trash can.

–18th St & 5th Ave

Woman on cell in bathroom stall: Well, shit, I wouldn’t had his baby if I’d known he was on drugs! Hang on… No, I’m in da bafroom. Da bafroom! Ok, later.

–Bathroom in office building, 51st St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: I’m using the one downstairs from now on…

Guy on cell: I wish the baby could go back into your stomach.

–Columbus Circle train station

Teen thug girl holding the Click DVD: Wait, we’re buying this and not baby food?

–Lincoln Park

Overheard by: WTF