Woman conductor: Take all of your personal belongings and all parts of your body as you leave the train.
–Brooklyn-bound D train
Bronx woman: I do not have ‘cheeseburger’ written on my forehead.
–Parkchester, Bronx
Overheard by: walking too fast to hear more
20-something girl to woman praying with legs wide open: When I move over it’s so your warm thighs aren’t pressed up against mine.
–Downtown A train
Overheard by: lisa l.
Chick: So then he slammed my infected eyebrow right into his crotch. It was terrific!
–Theater, 1st Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
British guy to girlfriend: Can I have your tongue?
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 8th Ave
Skinny 20-something: My head swung like a pendulum… I had a brain injury, but it’s okay because the part of the brain that got injured — the doctors are unsure of its function.
–7 train
Overheard by: Holy Crap!
Middle-aged guy lunching with female companions: So… Do you know if there’s any other organs on my body that could grow teeth?
–Sushi Samba, West Village
