The Nuclear Option

Riders scurry away as crazy woman yells at them and pokes them with her cane for sitting on one of her seats. Young woman boards train and sits.

Crazy woman: Wooo! Go! Go! Go! Wooo!
Young woman: Hey, you have three seats, and I’m just sitting on the edge of this one so you can have half. I am not getting up.
Crazy woman: Wooo!
Young woman: See all those people standing? It’s not fair for you to have four seats. [Crazy woman pulls down pants and starts peeing. Young woman gets up] Okay, you win.

–Manhattan-bound D train, Brooklyn