Want a Date, Wednesday One-Liners?

Hipster student: Yeah, man, we took Chinese already, but they’re making us start again in elementary ’cause we can’t write. All we know how to say is curse words and how to pick up hookers.

–Midtown Direct NJ Transit

Guy on cell: … Virtual strumpet.

–E 34th St

Overheard by: Krisztina

Young woman on cell: My apartment is not a brothel… My apartment is not a brothel.

–Tompkins Square Park

Suit to wife: Oh, wait, they’re not prostitutes, they’re just Italian.

–Per Se Restaurant, Columbus Circle

Hobo in skirt: Ladies, ladies! Sex for sale! Sex for sale! Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!

–2nd Ave, between 8th & 9th St

Overheard by: Skyler Fox