Loudspeaker: Spirit Airlines is paging Islam Mohammed. Islam Mohammed, please report to gate B6 for an ontime departure.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Joe Helfrich
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, in a crowded car like this, remember you only have two hands. If you notice a third hand in your purse or your pocket, I am sure your fellow passengers will help you get rid of the third hand.
–A train
Overheard by: Miss Babette
Bus driver: First, next and last stop!
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Palaverist
Loudspeaker: OK…The downtown E train is leaving…Close it up, close it up, close it up…downtown E train…close it up…now serving Wade, party of 2…Wade, party of 2.
–E. 51st Street station
Overheard by: Tim
