Stranger, to young business woman: Can I spank you?
–42nd St & 5th Ave
Gay co-worker, to female employee: Put your hands on the desk and assume the position.
–Office, midtown
Overheard by: Ariella Pink
Girl: If I have to, I’ll pull down my pants and spank myself.
–Cilantro, 89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Jules
Woman on cell: I mean, he’s my kid, and everyone is curious, and if he’s going to experiment let him. But I told this guy, “You cannot be the experiment with my son!”…I know, he thinks he’s going to grow up to be a rapist!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Queer: Then we went underneath the staircase and fooled around. And then he grabbed my head, pulled it down, and licked my bald spot!
–El Cocotero, 18th St between 7th and 8th
Tween girl: Aww, no, he did not just pee on me!
–54th & 11th
Overheard by: office peon
Man on cell: Natalie? Nat, if you’re there, pick up! Oh my God, I just hooked up with a guy whose house smelled like cat pee, and he wanted me to spit in his face! Where the fuck are you?
–52nd & 2nd
Queer: What? I’m not the one who had sex with the chicken cutlet.
–83rd & Madison
Twink on cell: We met on the train…No, he’s a bottom…I don’t think I can have this conversation here right now. You’re making me feel awkward.
–Rite Aid, 22nd & 9th
British girl on cell: Hmm, there’s no answer. She must be whipping now.
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: Anthony
Pregnant girl: I like it when he hits me. You know, I hit him just so he could hit me back. I like it rough.
–Downtown A train
Chick on cell: She just told me a story about someone waking up with a dildo in her mouth. You need to meet this girl!
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: McF
Customer to waitress: And then you have bestiality with a man and a sheep, and the sheep is the clear victim…
–Santa Fe Steakhouse, 70th Road, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Dining out
Brunette: What would make you think that I would like getting hit in the face with your cock?
–St. John’s & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Cowboy
