Wednesday One‐Liners Are Itching and Flaking

Pink‐haired woman: Have you noticed how all the celebs are totally dying their hair? It just looks so damn fake! I just want to walk up to them and say, ‘Your hair looks like a chem lab exploded on it!’ And then I would, like, get an autograph.


Hobo: Look, this ain’t my hair! I am part of the Homeland Security, and the alert color today is orange for ‘High alert.’ Now, how can you be both high and alert? That’s why this country is so fucked up! Have a nice day!

–L train, 6th Ave

Overheard by: pchace

Ghetto woman: Now, where did my son get to? I’m done payin’ and he still runnin’ around… I gotta go fix my hair — it looks like I just killed someone.

–Grocery store

Old man: I don’t like ugly, fucking‐hairy women. I just don’t — it’s a matter of taste! Good grooming — it’s the key to success, baby! Ugly, hairy women… They’re everywhere!

–Connecticut Muffin, Prospect Park stop, F train

Overheard by: Sarah McLellan

Guy: Keep the money coming, people! I got three kids at home, and they all want Timberlands! I accept baby food, hair weaves… I even take weed, if you got it!

–2 train

Overheard by: jil

Guy on cell: If you want a shitty haircut, you come to me!

–Smith & 9th St station

Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed