High school chick: You can totally get rid of syphilis with a pill. I know, because my boyfriend gave it to me.
–Gravy Restaurant, Brooklyn
Hipster to friend: If it’s me we’re talking about, I’d rather have HIV than syphilis. But that’s just me.
–Norfolk & Rivington
Overheard by: passerby
Teen girl on cell: There’s no way I’m inviting her to my Sweet Sixteen. I mean, she gave my brother herpes!
–Urban Outfitters, Soho
JAP on cell: Ummm… Some crazy lady just threw her coffee all over my legs. You don’t think I’ll get AIDS, do you?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Christina
Old lady on cell: Well, HIV isn’t contagious…
–JFK
WASP lady on cell: Woo-hoo! Herpes! Mexican herpes! Yay!
–57th & Madison
Overheard by: benvolio
Excited white gangsta: … And all’s they did was take some blood from the baby and sees that it had gonorrhea, and I was cleared!
–148th & 3rd, Bronx
